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Relationships
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Relationships You might find it strange that I would include an article on relationships under the umbrella of the Throw Away World series. I submit to you it is a valid subject for discussion in this context. In fact, I will go so far as to state that the Xisti community was born out of just such an issue. More on that later. As the 20th Century dawned, the family was the dominant social structure. The family home was much more likely to be in a rural or agricultural area and tended to be multi-generational. Often more than one family unit was housed under the same roof. If a family fell on hard times, they often made their home with other family members until they recovered. This was especially true of immigrant families who were still coming to the US, seeing it as a land of plenty and opportunity. Two world wars, the great depression and years of social engineering by governments have change the family dynamic tremendously. World War II in particular had tremendous impact. (At least in the US) Men went to war and women took on jobs traditionally held only by men to contribute to the war effort. It was a necessary and heroic effort that would have lasting impact. The existing family dynamic (multi-generational) made it possible for women to hold jobs without the cost and concern of daycare. When I was growing up, my grandmother lived in our home and no one thought that was unusual. She was the daycare provider and relieved my mother of the many worries common to working moms today. And as she got older and her health deteriorated, the entire family contributed to her care. Today we tend to wonder why if an adult child lives at home. Parents who can no longer maintain their own homes move to assisted living facilities. We have become disjointed and isolated. Family structures are often complicated by divorce. Children today do not know the same security of family that was common even 50 years ago. "How does this relate to relationships?" you wonder? Under the multi-generational family dynamic, we could not afford to let disagreements become major conflicts. If the individuals could not come to agreement, the family often stepped in to mediate. Today we lack that apparatus. All too often, if we cannot agree with someone, we let the relationship die rather than try to mend it. We see this in the divorce rate, the numbers of runaway children, and the way we tend to disassociate with people who don't fit into our particular mold. Rather than discussing issues and trying to come to some understanding, we tend to ignore people or ideas we are not in agreement with. As I mentioned, the Xisti community was born out of such a situation. To be fair, we did try to work it out over a six month period. But in the end, we went our way and the dissenting parties went theirs. The sad thing is that we see the result of that in our membership. How much, I wonder, does a throw away mentality contribute to the health of our community? And if that is true, what does it say for society as a whole? Artistry Discuss your views in The Forums at Xisti.com. Not registered? Click on the Register Now icon in the left column to join the community. |
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