Forgive & Forget
Forgive & Forget
It seems to me that we suffer much from an inability to forgive people for the wrongs they commit. This malaise has spread throughout our civilization. Along with our inability to forgive, we refuse to forget. People are asked to answer for the same errors time and again. We also have gotten so used to slanderous remarks about people that we often fail to recognize it. It's almost as if we would rather repeat the slander than learn that it was incorrect.
I listened the other day as someone commented that he was thankful that Election 2000 turned out as it did and that he shuddered to think what problem we would have had following 9/11 if the election had gone the other way. I wondered why he would bring up such a thing and why he felt it necessary to tie a condemning statement to his expression of thanks. Some will say that he had a right to his opinion, and I would agree. Still, I think he could have stated his approval of the President without the condemning statement. It's useless conjecture with the ability to do harm.
How many marriages have gone down in the crossfire of unforgiven offenses? I know people who say they would have done anything to avoid an argument because every argument inevitably led to a recitation of every offense given over the years. Do we want to count coup more than we want to get along?
The political arena is rife with slanderous accusations, made time and again, even though never proved. In some cases, no attempt is ever made to prove them.
I had a discussion with friends about this inability to forgive, and asked why we behave in this manner. I was told that most people who ask forgiveness are only sorry they got caught. They cynicism of that statement really got to me. Have we all appointed ourselves judges of other people's intentions? If so, I don't have a lot of hope for the future of mankind.
The truth is that none of us are so blameless that we can sit in judgment of others. And if we hope to maintain our relationships in the face of human behavior, a lot of forgiving and forgetting will have to take place Almost every religious text has passages on forgiveness. Probably most are familiar with the lines of the Lord's Prayer which say "forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors". That's about forgiveness. If you want a secular reference, Don Henley, expressed much the same thoughts in his song The Heart of the Matter:
I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter,
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter,
But I think it's about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore.
I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter,
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter,
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Most psychologists will tell you that happiness only comes when you let go of old animosities. In other words, try a little forgiveness and then forget about it. It's pretty hard to be happy when you're waging emotional warfare.
Now the tricky part for me will be to train myself to accept this new philosophy that I am advocating. Since I am as opinionated as the next person, it will be a challenge. But I am looking forward to it. I think it will be a refreshing change. And of course, since I am advocating this philosophy, I will probably get lots of opportunities to debate its efficacy. *wink*
Artistry
11/30/01
Discuss your views in The Forums at Xisti.com. Not registered? Click on the Register Now icon in the left column to join the community.